


Missing Pieces

by Bluerose161



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrian is depressed, Adrian is lonely, Aged Up, F/M, Hawkmoth has been taken into custody, Im not sure if ill do three, It will have two different ships, Kagami is with him, Marinette has moved on but has no love interest in the beginning, Save Sunshine child, This story will have sex in it, just not now, we'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluerose161/pseuds/Bluerose161
Summary: After four years of Chat Noir and Ladybug fighting against Hawkmoth, he is finally taken down. And Adrian is bombared with the Media and questions as its revealed it is Gabriel Agreste. He soon falls into a state of depression and loneliness. With so many questions and a hole in his heart, he goes into his father's work place to find what he seeks.Hes soon going to college, and before he goes he needs to fix some things before being off and leaving Ladybug to handle things on her own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story does does break some of the characters canon actions. This story also will have sex at some points so be warned, but that will come much later. 
> 
> Adrian and Marinette look more like Felix and Bridgette in this as they are aged up 
> 
> This may be canon break but since the end of the series hasnt came, i cant confirm or deny anything.

It has been a few months since the defeat of Hawkmoth, which was revealed to be Gabriel Agreste. And it completely destroyed Adrian to see his father handcuffed and sent away for destruction and attacks on Paris. Being Chat Noir these days became more of a choir than actual enjoyment. Natalie was also arrested for being alleged to be part of the conspiracy, so he was basically alone. It had taken over four years to finally catch him.. And in the end it left Adrian even more alone than he ever could’ve imagined. 

It didn’t help that he couldn’t give up the Miraculous, ever since Gabriel was taken into custody, many civilians have came out as supporters of him. They follow his dirty work, causing traffic, endangering lives, and trying to break things.. There more destructive than he could ever be. So, Adrian was forced to stay Chat Noir to help Ladybug keep the people at some form of bay, already so many taken into custody for property damage. 

It was near the end of their school year, when Adrian will be off at University to become something great, but he doesn’t know what. He’s so lost and alone these days, not even comfort of his piers is enough to keep him stable, as their words just go out his other ear and he can only look like he’s getting better. Though, he does have a girlfriend. He’s currently with Kagami. Surprisingly, when he was in his darkest places, she didn’t let him hide from facing them, she stayed by when others couldn’t and is probably the strongest person who helps him in his worst moments of pain. 

Even if it seems a bit unhealthy to be with someone with such a terrible mental state, she brings him whatever little joy can be brought to him. She helps him face his problems, and is avid on doing her best to let him be successful, which he definitely appreciates and is glad to have around. 

He’s 18 now, and now when he looks at himself in the mirror he sees someone dead behind the eyes, who has been hurt, neglected, and is so out of it. Though, its funny, in a way, his eyes match the way his fathers use to shine when he saw them. In a way, he may have taken his mothers complection, but was starting to become his father in the sense of being cold, cunning, and frankly always looking like his heart is broken. His hair is no longer wild, looking more tame and upkeep with some simple products, his eyes are calm, no longer seeing the life of his mothers. 

The media didn’t help much with his situation. So many news stories were still out to this day about the whole thing, and even some claimed Adrian would become his dad, hurting people.. He wanted to move on, but it didn’t help when he went to school there would be so many people questioning him, so many interviewers trying to get a scoop. And he honestly appreciated Alya was not one of them, and respected his grieving. 

He sighed, his shoulders falling slack as he looked away from the mirror, now when he looked at his own reflection he saw his father, he saw the man who gave him money, and not love. He saw the man who was so desperate for a perfect family, he terrorized a whole country to get what he wanted, and yet never succeeded. He thought he could abide his sons time with activities, trying to distract him from the bitter numbness of being alone. And oddly enough, his mansion had never felt so baren before. Even when he would sit and practice Piano, he could remember stopping to listen to his father on his business calls, just to hear his voice made him a bit more happy. Or how caring Natalie was, keeping a close eye on him and almost being motherly.. Filling the gaping hole his mother's death had left him.

He was glad at least he wouldn’t be leaving Paris to do University, but he would be quite far from where he lived, where all his friends were. It would be hard for him to go and help Ladybug, and there would be a strain in their teamwork.. Though, life goes on, she’s gotten stronger, and with Rena, she should be fine.. As for Chloe.. A different turn of events occured. 

Chloe was no longer at school, with Sabrina doing all her school work for her, she was able to easily leave a year early, becoming a valedictorian with her fathers money as help. She had went off to New York City, to be with her mom again and go to college to do some career in hair styling, and just cosmetics in general. 

He had no one left from his past.. Mother is dead, dad is arrested, Natalie arrested with him, Chloe at some beauty school.. It was a forcible awakening that he can’t keep anything stable in his life.. Just like his powers did.. Any touch with his cataclysm would destroy the item.. And in a way, it was a metaphor for how things fell apart in his life. 

Though, now, he could go in his fathers office. He could go in there freely and explore the room that was once held forbidden.. The room was still so proper, the very clean large pots that held equally big plants, the carpet that never gained a stain and held little butterflies on it that matched the vast curtains that drape the large windows. 

Adrian was kept in the dark so long, and now when he goes into that room, its still a rude awakening his father is gone.. He’s lost, he really is.. Though, he knows that something, anything in this room, can maybe shed some light on what his father really wanted, what his mother meant to him.. How all these plans came to his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short, but I wanted to get some more of the stuff out to let this story keep moving. It seems pretty popular even though I just posted it yesterday, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Adrian was in the entryway of the room, staring up at Gabriel's old work place, the big tablet and stand it was on where his father always worked whilst standing. He can remember when he was young, he was always allowed here when his mother was here, and there was a bit of a nostalgic feeling of recalling the looming figure as they worked ever so. He would play with his mother and expensive toys, his father liked his presence back then, and didn’t load as much work as he did in the later years as he did then. 

If his eyes weren’t fixated on the workplace, then they were at the large canvas above it, where his mother's photo was there. Staring into her eyes made a small bit of joy come to him, remembering how much love she gave him and how always so kind her eyes were, never truly threatening. 

Slowly, he let himself finally move forward, and he could admit he was holding his breath. He felt like he was breaching some enemy territory, and in a way, he was. In a way, he was breaching HawkMoths territory, and saying that name brought a bottomless pit to his stomach. He made his way to the stairs, slowly going up them and passing his father's workplace, now infatuated with his mothers photo. He remembered what his father told him when he visited him at the Police station. 

 

Adrian was sitting across from his father, who was wearing some bright orange jumpsuit, slippers, that were made of some plastic that could be the same material as crocs. His hair was no longer slicked back, a bit messy than Adrian could ever remember him having. The two were dead silent, just staring at each other, left quiet. He felt so uncomfortable, knowing there were guards in his view and just seeing them alone only sent in him even further that this was real. 

“Can you let us have some time alone, please?” he asked, looking a bit desperate as his gaze averted to the two men. They looked a bit nervous, as he continued “He can’t hurt me, you already have his hands bound to the chair, just please.. Let me speak to him alone.” Reluctantly, they obeyed the pleading males wish, walking out slowly and closing the steel door behind them. 

His eyes went back to his dad, and now a grin was laced to his lips. Adrian sighed, looking down at his own hands and playing with his ring as the silence was broken by his father “I know your Chat Noir.” he shot his gaze back up, his mouth slightly hanging agape and eyes wide. He slowly closed his mouth, his hands becoming clammy and for once he felt more fear from his father than he ever could have. 

“I must compliment you, the way you masked your identity was astounding. And the way you thought on your feet on battle was also noteworthy. Though, you can’t fool me for long, son. It became obvious once I started to notice more and more of your ring, and how much your features matched.” Adrian began to play with his fingers, his body tense, he was never a person to fidget, but he knew if he didn’t then he would start to shake. He watched as his father leaned forward, that bastards grin still coursing his face “You won, and in a way, I can only be a bit melancholy that I was defeated by my own son. Yet, I suppose every hero should get their reward. Behind your mothers photo contains many things I value, you have my permission to look inside and have what you please. The code is 15-4-26.” Adrian slowly stood, needing to back away from his father, he needed to stand, he felt like he was going to faint or vomit but he didn’t want to show weakness. He then asked in a quiet voice, his mouth dry from all this information “Why are you telling me this?” with a hearty chuckle, he replied “Why not? I’ll most likely be sentenced for life for my crimes, or even put to death. If my possessions are to go lost, I can at least know they are in your hands, Adrian.” 

He sighed, with all his emotions, crying was added to the list. He gave a low, slow nod, the motion looking more like he was falling asleep and his body was giving a jolt reaction in response. Adrian slowly went to the door, his right hand grasping the cold metal and his left resting against it. He didn’t turn back as he finished with “I hope they keep you alive to think of what you done.. Farewell, dad.” before slowly opening it and leaving. 

When he was out the building, Kagami was waiting for him, and he couldn’t help but fall into his arms, tears falling from his eyes as she comforted him. 

 

Adrians hand was at the frame of the photo, staring up at the photo still. Slowly, he ran his opposing hand up it, feeling the hardened brush strokes that solidified the lovely image. When he stopped, he retracted it and slowly pulled the canvas open to look inside and take it in for real this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was pretty surprising for me to see how many Kudos this already got, so if you guys are interested in my other works, you can check out a story I made called The True Fox. It does go a lot more into Nathaniels love life, but I can assure that there will be some depressed Adrian coming up later in that story and is getting into angst at this moment. Plus, the true fox does have a lot more chapters so it would be a good read for now while I work on chapters here. 
> 
> Also, if you guys could tell me so far how you feel about the story, that would be awesome. 
> 
> ~Rose


	3. Chapter 3

Adrian pushed the canvas away, now being faced with the bulky safe behind it, seeing the turn lock that would allow access. Plagg soon appeared at his shoulder “This thing again? Let me handle this-” “No.” Adrian intercepted, glancing at his kwamii “Please.. I want to do this..” he took grasp of the turn key, mumbling the code under his breath “Fifteen.. Four.. Twenty-six..” there was a click, and he took grasp of a handle that was also on the safe, pulling it open and taking a step back to let the door open. 

He looked around, seeing the book he once stole for a period of time that got into the hands of Lilia and Marinette, the latter being the one who returned it. He was happy when Marinette did that, it helped him get back to going to school, something at the time he was very upset with leaving. 

As his eyes kept moving around, he soon saw old Airplane tickets to Tibet, China. Which was a bit odd, when did his dad go there? He continued to look and soon saw a photo of his mother beside the peacock Miraculous. He stared with some shock, picking up the small photo and examining it “When did he get the peacock..” he set it back down and looked back at the miraculous and linked two and two together “Was mom.. The peacock?” he didn’t have a lot of memories of his mother when he was young, they were a bit blurry when it came to her death. Though, anytime he envisioned her, he could remember some sort of hair clip in her hair.. Though, this was a brooch, not a hairclip. 

Though, he still took it. He needed more answers, more information, more of just anything. So, after a few minutes of pondering, he put the photo back in the safe, keeping the Miraculous and wrapping it in a napkin, keeping it close and in his pocket. He closed the safe back up, and went out the house to go see Master Fu. 

He decided to walk, occasionally texting Kagami and Nino on the way about random stuff, him and Nino were still close, and he was glad to still have his best friend. Even with much of the media still seeing him in a negative light, he was glad to have Nino by his side and defending him. Paris was warm, it was getting closer and closer to Summer, so the weather was clear in its change, no longer containing the crisp colds of Spring. He enjoyed the feeling of the sun, it warmed him and made the walk just a bit more tolerable. 

When he arrived he gave a soft knock to the door, waiting by it. He wasn’t one to walk in without invitation, especially in the place that could explain all of this to him.. After Hawkmoth was captured, Ladybug and him had returned the Miraculous back to him, and he was overjoyed.. This would be the last piece of that puzzle.. Though, Adrian didn’t intend to return it to him. 

After a bit of standing and waiting, the door was opened, and Master Fu stood there. He gave a respective bow, giving a sad smile to the wise old man. With a sigh, he let Adrian in “I’m with a client, so you may wait in the kitchen and have tea.” he gave a nod, just glad for the hospitality and being able to have a chance to see him today. 

Adrian made his way to the kitchen, taking a cup from a cupboard and pouring some tea before sitting down. He had been here many times before, Master Fu in a way became a bit of his therapist, talking him through and helping him understand more of why he understood this way. As much as he loved and appreciated Kagami’s help with helping him face his problems and comfort him, but he was also glad to have a bit more of a professional insight. 

An hour passed before Master Fu met him in the kitchen, giving a warm smile, along with Wayzz. He stood up, giving another bow “I’m glad you’re seeing me today, master.. I need assistance.” he nodded, offering the door to Adrian so they could go to the lounge to speak formally. The two went down there and Adrian sat on a bamboo mat, given his tea again along with a refill. Master Fu poured himself a cup and drank some before saying “What has been bothering you?” 

With a sigh, he explained “Well.. I recently saw my father in Prison.. And he told me to go behind his painting of my mother, Emilie, and I did.. And I found this..” he took the Miraculous out of his pocket, unfolding the napkin. Master Fu stared in shock “How is this possible..” carefully, he took it from Adrians hand, examining it “I thought it was lost forever.. What has your father done to it? It's a brooch now.. Its meant to be a hairclip..” a lump formed in his throat “H-Hairclip?” he stuttered, memories filling his mind of the hairclip his mother always wore. 

He nodded “Well, yes. Its damaged now, the original contents of where the magic is synced is now blocked with the change of its form..” with a gulp, he nodded, drinking some tea to rehydrate his mouth “Okay.. Can you fix it?” Master Fu nodded “Well, yes, I’d need to do some very advanced things to it first. I’d need to ensure that the new pieces can sync with the magical originals, then make sure its stable with minor tests for the sync, then repeat to make sure it’s even sturdy enough to take in the powers.” Adrian sighed “I understand.. But-Master Fu.. When you fix it.. Can I please have it back?” 

Master Fu looked almost flabbergasted or appalled “Absolutely not! This must go back with the others when I’m done.” Adrian whimpered “Sir.. I'm sorry to pry, but I beg you.. I need it back.. I need to give it to someone.” he looked almost horrified at this point “Adrian! How could you ask such a thing? This miraculous holds the same powers as Gabriels, the only difference is that it creates a creature. How could I allow you to hand it someone who will use it in the public eye.” 

He knew Master Fu was right, he was always to an extent right, but Adrian couldn’t let him be right this time. He whimpered a little “I know sir, I know how the public is now.. But- Ladybug will be alone soon, I’m off to college on the other side of Paris, basically in Europe, I won’t be here to help her. I want someone else to be here for her, I know it would be best to give my ring, but even then, the other side of Paris holds many more protests than here, I’ll need to be there to help it all.” his expression softened, and he sighed “Adrian.. Why the Peacock?” he asked, Adrian giving a wince as he closed his eyes “It was my mothers Miraculous, Master.. I know who will use it the way it was meant to, not for pain and suffering as my father, but who will take care of it. The peacock and moth have been abused for so long.. At least one of them deserves healing..” Master Fu rubbed his temple, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before agreeing “Very well, this process will take two weeks.. Come see me then to take it..” Adrian smiled widely, almost crying on the spot as he hugged the master “Oh thank you sir!” 

Though, once he realized he spilled his own tea, he pulled away “Whoops.. Heh- um, ill clean that.” he quickly got up and left to the other room to get paper towels.

Master Fu gave a soft laugh before a groan “What am I getting Duusu into..?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, so i will post the next consecutively

Two weeks had passed, and Adrian was more anxious than ever. He had received the Peacock miraculous the day before, and just having it made him excited. It was the problem of how he was going to give it the person he wanted to give it to. Surprisingly, he wanted to give it to Nathaniel. 

Surprisingly, Nathan and Adrian were well acquainted, they didn’t constantly hang out, just mostly hold decent chatter before classes, but he was a nice kid. He knew Nathan would be a good match for Duusu, Master Fu had described her personality to him. She was a sensitive soul, normally prone to crying when someone would offend her. She was the type to get anxious around new things, and get a bit clung to her Miraculous holders. He figured with that personality, her and Nathan would work well. Nathan was a type to get really anxious, and a bit of a sensitive soul. Along with that, Adrian noticed that he was very patient, especially when it came to people or debates. When a person had his respect, he was calm and kind, when they didn’t he was bitter and harsh, avoiding them with a sense of grudge and frankly being too afraid to face the person. 

Though, there was a problem. He had to approach Nathan as Chat Noir to keep his identity down low. And Nathaniel was definitely not at all friends with Chat. In fact, there was a small period of time when Nathaniel was mad at Chat Noir, due to a small misunderstanding, but it still did happen. And the artist never forgot.

So, when the day of school was over, and students were leaving, he was relieved to see that Nathan stayed after, going to the art room to do some art. That meant that he would stay when all the students left. He smirked, building a plan in his mind on how he would do this, hoping it would work. He waited for a few minutes in the males bathroom for all the kids to leave before he sighed, looking around to make sure no one was here. 

He looked to his ring, he hadn’t changed in so long, he forgot how it felt like to be honest. Adrian spent most of his time giving his grieving and emotions to moving on, and the work of being Chat Noir would be too much at this point. With a small smile gracing his lips, he looked at himself in the mirror before saying “Plagg, claws out!” his ring turned a dark black, the electric green paw print showing as he raised his arm and transformed. 

Once he finished he walked out the bathroom, striding down to the art room, which wasn’t that far away. Doing this was unnerving yet enticing. The confidence he felt as Chat Noir was helping him, but he couldn’t help but feel this was how Ladybug must’ve felt when she recruited someone.. And thinking of that just made him gleeful. Finally, he was no longer in the dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for reposting this chapter, i reread it and had to make some changes that would contribute to future chapters

The Art room was ever so vibrant as normal. Alex working on her spray paint art on different pieces of wood, scrap metal and even big pieces of paper or canvas. Juleka and Rose, one of the lesbian couples of the school, would normally just talk, finding the place nice to do and frankly work on school projects seemed to go faster with all the spiraling creativity inside the space, though equally distracting. 

Nathaniel sat at a table with Marc, the two working on the narrative for a new story. Ever Since they completed their stories of the tales of Super Nathan and Reverser, they had worked on other ideas. It mainly revolved around Superheroes and fantasy, but still amazing. The one they were working on now was a Fantasy world, with Sirens and Mermaids, elves and other creatures. They lived in some secret garden where a human had discovered. This was one of their few stories that didn’t have self insert, but they still were having fun. 

“Ooo- What if they have this policy thing where if you leave the Garden you have to fend for yourself! Like, so then you can’t lead humans where the garden is, so once you go your banished. And the story can revolve around a mermaid who just wants to leave!” Nathan perked “Nice! Maybe we can have two stories! Like, the first has the mermaid and the second is about their siren friend who likes a dark elf.” the two laughed, they were really close ever since they met three years ago. 

Surprisingly, a lot of people wanted them to be together, and even some thought they were. They thought so because they hung out a lot, and Marc was an actual gay. Sure, Nathaniel was bi, but neither of them had an interest in the other. Afterall, they did meet over Marc’s fanfiction of Ladybug having a crush on him for christ sake. They honestly both found it funny how many people thought they were together, they joked about it a lot, and even made a joke about it in their comic series. 

Nathan hummed while doing some sketch work for the panels, Marc writing down in his book how the storyline could go and writing small notes on what emotion Nathan would need to convey in the pieces. 

Before Nathan could check and comment on the writing narrative, he heard Alex let out a squeal. The two quickly looked over and saw Chat Noir, standing at the entrance and having a kind smile. Marc gasped “Is that actually him?” he whisper yelled to Nathaniel. He gave a nod, replying “I think it is.” Chat gave an awkward laugh, placing a hand up “Sorry to intrude, but I need to talk to Nathaniel Kurtzberg.” 

Marc gasped even more, shaking Nathans shoulder “Go.” he said. Nathan gave a bit of a whine “I don’t know.. You know I’m still a bit ticked when he didn’t show up to our celebration of our comic actually coming out in stores.” Marc rolled his eyes “I know, but he did have a reason, and he got the wrong time. Just hear him out for christ sake.” with a sigh, he got up “Fine, keep adding to our storyline.” Marc gave a determined nod before going back to work, a boost of creativity hitting him from seeing the hero in person. 

Nathaniel followed Chat Noir outside the classroom, closing the door behind him as he went and leaned to a wall, looking over at the famed hero. Nathan had changed a lot over the years, after he turned sixteen, he hit a very unexpected growth spurt, it was so bad that his once 5’7 height was changed to a 6’0 in almost less than a month. It was extremely painful to endure, and during that period he missed quite a few days from the struggle of just trying to get up. His wardrobe had to get an upgrade from the height difference. Though, he is happy to know that this was his final growth spurt, and it was a common thing in his family line to have sudden growth changes, as the same happened to his dad and other family on that side. 

He looked over at Chat, his seafoam eyes holding a soft bit of resentment yet also curiosity. Nathan held that anger towards the male was because he could remember telling the cat the exact time the event began, and he wasn’t busy, he was answering other interviewer questions and hadn’t used cataclysm. So, it was very disheartening to have Chat basically late to most of the stuff, especially when he was so proud of his accomplishment. 

“Look, I know you don’t exactly like me after I screwed the time on your celebration, I’m very sorry for doing that. But, I pulled you out for a very important reason.” he looked around to make sure no one was around “Does anyone stay out after class.” Nathaniel shook his head no “Not normally, and if anything, there in a classroom working for a good while with catch up stuff.” Chat nodded, giving a soft sigh “Nathaniel Kurtzberg, I want to give you this.” he held his hand out, showing the small box that held Duusu “This box contains the peacock miraculous, it gives you the weapon of a fan, the abilities of speed, endurance and strength.” 

Nathaniel stood shocked, no longer leaning on the wall as he stared at the box. He looked uncomfortable “What if people don’t want another super?” it became Chat’s turn to be shocked, he didn’t expect him to say that. Though, he stood his ground, flicking Nathaniel's noise “Of course people want another super. People need someone, there afraid of this outbreak of Hawkmoth supporters.” he rubbed his nose, giving a small glare to the motion that Chat did, he then added “Plus, your friend Adrian said you’d be perfect for this.” Nathan shook his head, recoiling it in shock after “I’m sorry, but Adrian? You’ve talked to him?” 

Chat gave a nod, now feeling a bit awkward that he was talking about himself “Well, of course we are! We’ve met up a few times. He said you’d be best for this. Will you take it?” he asked, his hand still out and holding it. Even if with Chat Noir’s best efforts, his hand was slightly shaking, fearful he wouldn’t take it. Though, a relief shot his whole system as Nathan went and grasped the box, taking it and putting it in his back pocket, giving a nod. Nathaniel sighed “Fine, fine. I guess I can, but, I don’t know anything about being an actual superhero.” with a big, goofy smile coming to his lips he pat Nathans shoulder “You’ll learn on the job.” and once he said that, he was leaving. 

Nathaniel leaned back on the wall, taking the box back out and staring at the box in his hand. As he was going to open it, he heard the door open and quickly put it back in his pocket, seeing Marc in the doorway “Hey, you ready to head back to work?” he nodded, taking a moment to take in a deep breathe before following him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian is happy with his gf and Nathaniel gets to meet his new Kwamii

Adrian was sat on his bed, back home after seeing Nathaniel. Kagami and him had met up on the way and were hanging out, mainly watching TV. Surprising as it is, but Adrian was never super linked with social media. Sure, he was a model and did post photos of himself, but that was mainly it other than talking to friends. He wasn’t raised a lot on movies, only on rare occasions did his dad let him, mainly by his mother's wishes. Since he was so busy as young, he never was in super liking to network, and now being basically an adult, it just never clicked right. Though, Kagami did get to watch some shows when she was young, she was trying to introduce Adrian to some, now that he had a lot more freetime without the press of his old schedule. 

“You seem to be enjoying this a lot more than normal.” she said, making him look over at her. She was pressed to his side, the two laying down and one of her hands relaxing on his chest. He raised a brow “What do you mean by that?” she gave a shrug in response “I don’t know. Normally when we watch this stuff you give some complaints, or you roll your eyes or just look disinterested. Today you seem to actually be watching it and enjoying it.” he gave a soft laugh, smiling at her, which was at these points a bit uncommon “I’m just in a good mood.” he pet her cheek, she still kept her short hair, though, it was getting a bit long recently since she hadn’t been to her stylist. 

She hummed, scooting closer and laying her head on his chest “Mind telling me the secret of making you happy?” she asked, holding his hand. Adrian laid his head back on his headboard, he wanted to tell her about being Chat Noir, what he just did on giving powers to Nathan, and everything. He knew it would shock her, and she might even be fuming at him keeping things from her, but his identity had to remain secret.. That’s probably one of the worst things from this job, secrets. Everything had to be kept down low, from the people you love, the ones that look up to you, the people you trust.. All of it had to be hidden, and it was painful to do. Even with Ladybug, she kept secrets from him of Master Fu, the Miraculous, it was the worst pain of them all. His own teammate hiding things..

“Well?” he snapped out of his thoughts, looking back down at Kagami, who was having a bit of a playful expression.. She had became much nicer to people since they’d been together, no longer as aggressive to others. He kissed her temple “I guess it’s just a good day.” her expression changed to a bit more of a stern pout “That’s not specific.” he chuckled “It’s just hard to describe.” she sighed “Is there anyway I could make it better?” he blushed a bit, giving a shrug “Just relaxing would be nice.” 

Kagami nodded, settling and watching the show still “Well, whatever is making you like this, I hope it lasts. You’ve been so bitter lately, I was starting to think you were becoming.. Like him some more.” Adrian tensed a little, thinking of his father.. He would be visiting him again this weekend, and he had some things to ask him at that time. Adrian rubbed her back “Don’t worry. That would never happen, I will never be him.” 

-

Nathaniel sighed once he entered his room, panting a bit. He had ran home since he had saw Chloe walking down the street, and he was not in any mood to really be seeing her. With a sigh, taking his water bottle and drinking down some of it, he shedded his bag off himself and went to his desk, taking a seat.

He yelped once feeling something prod his ass, quickly standing and rubbing it to recall the item in his back pocket. He took it out, remembering Chat Noir giving it to him, persisting he take it. Nathaniel sighed, going and taking a seat once again and opening it, being completely surprised to be blinded by a darkish blue light. 

Somehow, he managed to still be holding it, using his arm to cover view of the light. When it was over, he heard a small, gentle voice “Why are you covering view owner? Do I look bad!?” he moved his arm, seeing a small little creature. There body was pure dark blue, having big eyes that were a soft red. They had a long tail, looking like the feathers of a peacock as she was tearing up. He yelped once more, gently taking the little kwamii in his hands “Nono! You look lovely!” he said quickly, trying to calm the little creature down. 

“R-Really?” she asked, sniffling a little, he gave a frantic nod, and she cleaned her gathering tears “You’re very sweet.” she nuzzled his cheek, whilst he was still trying to process all of this. She began to circle him “You look very different from my old owner..” she mumbled, fluffing up his hair a bit “How did your old owner look like?” Duusu flew back to facing him “She was the most beautiful lady ever! She was blonde and had green eyes! And-And was the nicest lady ever! I remember her so much.. Before she died..” Duusu began to tear up again, now crying “It was my fault! When she was protecting someone her miraculous took damage! I got unstable! And without a Ladybug to use Lucky Charm.. It started to weaken her and.. She died..” the little kwamii was now sobbing, her tears turning into little sparkles once they passed her tail. 

“Woah- Hey it's okay!” Nathaniel pulled Duusu close, petting her head “It’s okay..” she sniffled, still crying but continuing “I remember having this.. Thing attached to me.. It didn’t feel right on me and then this lady put me on.. I was hurting her again.. I.. I didn’t know what to do.. My charm was hurting her but she wouldn’t let go.. But- now, I feel amazing! I feel like myself!” she giggled, now seeming better ‘she definitely dramatic.’ he thought, patting her head still. 

She purred, leaning on his finger “What’s your name owner?” “I’m Nathaniel. Though, I go by Nate or Nathan.” she giggled “I’m Duusu.” she used his finger to shake his hand, being too small to fully shake his hand. She then said “I’m hungry, do you have food?” he nodded “Um, yeah, what do you want to eat?” her eyes sparkled a lot, and she swirled around him “Pomegranate! Pomegranate!” he nodded “Well, I don’t have that. The store isn’t that far but it is getting a bit dark..” it was a bit dangerous these days to go outside, since there could be some of the Hawk Moth Supporters terrorizing people and could hurt people. 

Duusu whimpered “Oh please, Nathaniel! I haven’t been given Pomegranate in so long!” with a sigh, he agreed “Fine, fine. We can go get it.” she giggled, he got up and stretched, going to go and grab his wallet out of his bag and walk out “Wait!” he turned around, seeing her carrying the box “You need to put this on to access your powers! And to keep me around.” he gave a soft nod, taking the brochure and then putting it on under his coat, on his shirt. She smiled, dropping the box and hiding in his collar, relaxing a bit. 

The walk at the store was as he guessed, a bit dangerous. He had to pass a few protesters on the way there, keeping his head low in order to not gain attention. He wished all of this would end, already they had made damage to windows, started car fires, and hurt kids for Christ sake. This was so much worse than what could be expected, many thought once Hawkmoth was caught all would be free.. Though, it seemed to become more chaotic, since now only remained supers, and nothing seemed to have a happy ending. 

He managed to get there in one piece, get the Pomegranate and some other stuff he might want as snacks during school, and went back home, taking some back alleyways since it was now dark and this was prime time for followers. 

When he got back home, his mother luckily hadn’t noticed he left. He closed the door behind him and snuck back upstairs, not wanting to hear her lectures on how bad it was to go out. When safe and sound in his room, he set the bag down, taking out a pocket knife his dad gave him for protection out there and cutting open the fruit. Duusu let out an excited squeal and got to munching down, Nathaniel chuckled and relaxed, deciding on skipping out on his homework tonight, he still had another day to do it. 

Once she finished eating, she looked up at him “Would you like to try transforming?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make Duusu the most pure but dramatic character possible. I hope i nailed it, lmao


	7. Chapter 7

Nathaniel starred in shock “Like-Right now?” she nodded, giggling “Of course silly!” he paused a bit “Well, its really late, Duusu. I’m not sure.” she whimpered “I just thought it would be nice, since then you can try it and-and be able to help anyone if anything.” he sighed, patting her head while she finished another little piece of pomegranate “I guess, but it's dangerous out-” “Not when your super!” she intervened, looking really excited “I haven’t been able to change anyone in so long without hurting them! I want to know if its true! It doesn’t have to be for long, I promise.” she said, going and nuzzling his cheek. 

He sighed “Okay, okay. I get it. We can try it, but I need to go somewhere not here. This place gets really bad when it's entirely dark, and I don’t need my face in the press just yet with this new stuff.” she was still excited, circling him and flying around his room happily. Nathan sighed, getting up, opening his window. He stretched, yawning a little as he put some pillows under his blanket encase his mother came to check on him. He then got one of his turtle necks on, so then it could cover his mouth, finishing it off with a beanie, he wanted to be seen as minimal as possible, especially with walking. 

He opened his window, sighing softly and looking out “Just like you did when you were 16.. Except, you were just a bit shorter.. Now you’re more of a noodle.” he muttered looking to Duusu who was in his jacket pocket now, curled up and waiting enviously. He sighed again, biting his lower lip for a second before he stood up, barely on the ledge of the frame, when he was shorter it was just a bit easier to do this, since then he had a small dip in the wall to hold onto. His new height made holding that impossible unless he wanted the risk of breaking his wrist. Though, it made performing this stunt easier with the height, he wasn’t sure if it exactly balanced out nonetheless. 

In a moment, he jumped, reaching his arm out and taking grasp of the fire escape ladder, his weight making it unhinged and start to go down. He lived in a three story place with his mom and dad, being an only kid with his older brother having his own life now. The fire escape only went up to the third story, and was able to go down close to the floor where it was only a small jump, so it was easier than accidentally breaking a water pipe for sure. 

The rusty ladder was a bit hard to hold, especially with it being freezing, but he managed till he was down, jumping down and landing safely. He remembered doing this to hang out with Marc, Juleka and Rose. They would go out to the underground areas to watch bands. Marc mostly went for the music, Rose went for the food and to socialize, Juleka liked the spikes of violence that would go down, and Nathan mostly went for in bulk cheap merchandise and enjoying the colors around. It was there own secret lifeway, it was nice to do, and it was there own way of spending time together. That is, until Rose's parents found out and didn't let her leave the house until the season was over.. And without Rose, Juleka didn’t want to go. Marc got too busy with other stuff, and ever since, growing up has been harsh and they haven’t been able to. 

With a sigh, he got up, adjusting the cover on his mouth and quickly running. It was already pretty dark, so getting where he wanted was critical at this time, or he would be stuck with the crazies. 

After about five minutes of just a full on sprint, sometimes slowing down from exhaustion, he made it. The place was an old, abandoned building. A lot of people honestly thought this place was haunted; it probably was. The place was old, decaying over the years. It was in the middle of this shaggy, grassy area, with no life around. He remembered when him and Alix were friends, she introduced him to this place, and the idea of starting to do Spray Paint art. 

She was the one who normally did it, as Nathan preferred just pencils and paper, he didn’t like his mediums being runny, made it harder to fix if you missed a drip and stay even. Though, she still convinced him to try it out, and eventually this place became their sanctuary. They would go down here to paint, talk about school drama, and just have fun and hang out when Marc, Rose or Juleka couldn’t. 

Though, their friendship started to decay like the building, Alix eventually got a bit of a jealousy problem when she wasn’t included to their nightly raves, because she had a fall out with Juleka. Nathan did all he could to really try to make everyone happy, but Alix being too stubborn just abandoned him entirely, becoming friends with Kim of all people. And now all that was left of the place was the art they did and the small memories of hanging out. 

Either way, he came here since it was secluded, this was his safe place when he would accidently stay out too late and would need Rose to pick him up, no crazies ever came down here oddly enough, so he found it perfect to try the transformation. 

He soon went in, turning on his phone light and looking around, nothing was inside other than cobwebs, dust, and old art. A small came to his lips at the faint little spikes of nostalgia that came with each picture. They both had their own signature, Alix had a watch, to resemble her heirloom, whilst Nathan did the symbol of the peacock feather. He always liked peacocks, they were pretty, even the females who ranged in the browns, he found them to be majestic and graceful, and he always found it to be some form of design element he loved. 

He soon set his phone down on one of the old tables on the place, it was caked in dust. They use to use the table to hold the spray cans, tarps, gas masks, gloves, just about anything they needed. Nathan pulled the turtleneck down “Okay, you can come out.” he said, Duusu slowly floating out and looking around “Wow! Its kinda spooky in here.” she sneezed, making him laugh “Yeah, bless you.” he took his beanie off, straightening his hair back in place. 

Nathan sighed, pulling his jacket off next, he was nervous, he never thought he’d be able to become a superhero. He placed his hand on the brochure, sighing a bit “Okay, I think I can try it.. What do I say?” she smiled, going and sitting on his shoulder “Just say, ‘Duusu, feathers on.” he raised a brow “Feathers on?” 

It was meant to be a question, but in seconds, the transformation began, a bright blue and purplish light drowned the space. He watched Duusu get sucked into the brochure “Duusu!?” he asked, looking scared as he shut his eyes tightly, feeling a mask cover his eyes, and features go across his frame. 

When he reopened his eyes, he didn’t dare look down at his frame, he was honestly terrified to look. Quickly, he went to his phone, picking it up and going to his camera, turning it on selfie mode to examine himself. 

Immediately, he thought he was looking at the Evillustrator and not a superhero. His hair was styled in the same form, though instead of having purple tips to the hair, it a soft blue.   
Though, he wasn’t hearing any hat, all of his hair showing and he had a peacock feather behind his ear. 

He went and touched it, soon realizing he was able to take it out. He examined it closely, the feather almost looked like a quill, something that would be used for drawing.. And in all honesty, it brought some memories back of when he was akumatized. He set it back behind his ear. He then examined the mask, staring at it for a good while. It was a standard mint green, being a bit of a close shade to his eyes. He then turned the camera off, simply using the light to look at the rest of the outfit..

The top of the suit held a lot of design, his miraculous was i the center of his chest, and feathers expanded out from it. The color was a full dark blue, and there was embroidered design in it as well, it having the design of the feathers made with a silver lining. His gloves were actual feathers,but were also fingerless. He turned and saw he had a cape on, it only went to his knees and ended there, it reminded him of Rena’s, though of course were feathers. He soon saw he had two fans clipped to either side of his waist, held there with a green sash. He picked them up, opening them and fanning himself.. He felt a bit fancy with it to be honest and jokingly said to himself “Oh yes, I’ll have another cup of tea.” and laughed a bit at his own joke. He set them back down, they were standard size so nothing too special. He didn’t have shoes on it seemed, being like Ladybug more or less, simply it being smooth down there and being green

He really did like the colors of the suit, he almost felt like a mermaid, if there was a peacock mermaid that is. He hummed a bit, giggling to himself and doing little bounce, he thought he looked badass. He really liked the designs that were sewn in, almost looking like something Marinette would make. Damn, he still really liked her. It was odd on how he could keep a crush on for so long, and in a way, he guessed that's how him and Duusu were so similar, they were just a tad clingy to people once they got to know them. 

Plus, how could he not like her still? She was too awesome. He didn’t draw her as much as he use to, but his infatuation for her was still there. He sighed, soon looking outside from one of the broken windows and seeing it was now pitch black.. 

Yep, he needed a ride. Nathan sighed, he loved the form, but he couldn’t let anyone see him like this. He thought over for a moment “Okay, identity crisis can happen later, I need to figure out how to change back..” he pursed his lips to a fine line, rubbing his chin “Well, I said feathers on.. So, feathers off?” once again, a question just seemed to work as he changed back, Duusu being before him “Did you like it?” she asked, and he soon was hugging her, nuzzling her and laughing “Are you kidding!? That was amazing!” she giggled, escaping his hold and resting on his shoulder. He rolled his eyes, patting her head and hearing her purr as he got his jacket and beanie. He picked his phone up, dialing up Marc. After a few rings, it was answered into a phone call. 

“What is it Nathan? I’m trying to sleep for tomorrow.” Nathan rolled his eyes “Don’t lie, you were probably writing smut.” he said, calling his friend out as Marc’s face got covered in blush “Well, it is my OTP.” Nathan laughed “Yeah, that won’t exist. You know Marinette by now, she doesn’t like me.” Marc rolled his eyes “Well, my ship will still sail, even if it takes a bit. Anyways, where the fuck are you? It’s like pitchblack on my screen.” Nathan gave a soft, awkward chuckle, Marc’s expression went to a deadpan in a matter of microexpressions “You called me to pick you up, didn’t you? Little shit.” Nathan smiled “Well, yes. Can you? My ass is freezing out here, and unless you want that smutt to come true, you better get here before my dick freezes off.” 

Marc rolled his eyes “Yeah, yeah, you owe me. I’m guessing your at the Alix hang out?” Nathan nodded “Yep.” “I’ll be there in five minutes, cya in a bit.” he said before hanging up. 

Nathaniel sighed in relief, putting his phone away “Thank god.” him and Marc were best friends, and over the years of them being pals, they both have been able to come out of their shell. With of course assistance from Rose and Juleka, but they were a lot more confident, especially with the boosts they get from there comics. It was nice, although Nathan still had his social anxiety and other issues, and Marc having similar issues, they still have extremely improved from when they first met. 

He went outside the building, waiting for his savior of the night to not get brutally attacked. After a bit of waiting, he saw headlights and quickly went down there, seeing his friend lounging in the driver seat. Marc had his own car, which was an old Toyota, maybe 2015 model? It was one of his uncles old cars that he took since it was going to be taken for parts. It was a dingy yellow, since the paint was chipping, and they always made jokes that Bumblebee was dying. 

He got in, settling in passenger and humming to the warm setting “Thanks, Marc.” he rolled his eyes “Well, I still need my fanfiction to come true.” he said, reversing and then starting to get back on the streets. 

“Why are you even out here, Nate? Paris is bad to be outside these days, and I thought you’d remember from how much your parents nag you.” Nathan rolled his eyes, adjusting the chair so he was leaned back just a bit “I got lost with time. I came earlier for some nostalgia and got a bit lost in thought. I overcompensated time since I thought the sun would stay up longer due to summer, and that didn’t last long.” he lied, messing with the coat he was wearing to keep the brochure covered from sight. 

Marc sighed “Nathan, seriously dude. In all honesty, you worry me sometimes. I mean, I never expected you to get all rebellious. Hell, Rose seemed more likely with her dating Juleka.” Nathan rolled his eyes “Whatever dad, you sort of roped me into it.” his friend sighed “I guess I did, damn I was a bad influence back then when I was getting more confident, I felt so high on being on top of the world I did dumb shit.” Nathan laughed “WE, did dumbshit, Marc. Plus, it’s not like i’m smoking pot or anything, it's not my fault Paris is all like this.” his friend let out another sigh “I guess not.” 

After a bit of silence, Marc growled “Goddamn these stupid Hawkmoth supporters. This town is glowing and beautiful, and barely anyone is ballsy enough to go out these days from being afraid of them. I heard they’re even branding people.” Nathan gripped his sleeve, he couldn’t imagine holding the mark of Hawkmoth. He was a victim to that man, and even back then he just wanted to escape it, he loved the confidence, but it was the worst way possible. He was a puppet, the guy was too afraid to even face them head on, and instead just used other people's emotions, the thing that showed them as human, as a way to hurt others and get what he needed. It was still bewildering to him on how people still wanted that to last. Nathan looked around, and Marc was right. The streetlamps were making everything shine, the reflective windows of small business’, the flowers, almost everything. It even just felt a bit plastic from how perfect it looked. It was a shame indeed “I mean, with Chat Noir not being around anymore and just Ladybug and Rena, nothing is getting done. Sure, Carapace is around but.. Were adults now, they won’t stay. Queen Bee is already gone.” 

Nathan touched the brochure, gritting his teeth. He wanted to tell his friend the new abilities he had, what Chat gave him, but he bit his tongue, he knew better. He knew how downlow an identity had to be, even with Queen Bee being a bad example of that. 

“I guess.” Marc pinched the bridge of his nose “I’m getting worried about everyone, Nathan. It’s scary, I want some security again, I miss things being goddamn normal, even when Hawkmoth was here.. It just felt, normal since it lasted so long..” Nathan pat his friends shoulder “Marc-” “I mean, Luka is worried too.. You know I like him Nathan, and he’s getting worried on this too. He hasn’t even been able to visit these days since he doesn’t want to go out..” Nathan looked concerned for his friend, he honestly didn’t think Marc was that scared of all of this. Nathan had became almost untouchable, the final years of Chloe’s abuse making him hardened, and untouchable. And with the boost from his friends, he kept like that, and rebelled, and it made him safe, it made him not a target. But even with Marc being strong now, he still had his moments, he still had fears, he was still human. Whilst Nathan had completely shut himself down to keep okay, to keep not getting hurt. 

Marc did have a liking to Luka, since he had became friends with Juleka and met him, he found him to be chill and peaceful, it was in a way, his safety net. Luka was strong, tall, extremely zen, could read people like an open book, and Nathan knew that’s what his pal needed. Luka was also someone who helped Marc become a jokester, confident, and happy. Although, Nathan got a bit of a creep vibe from Luka, he still supported his friend, and didn’t care what he felt as long as the people he cared for were okay. Over the years, Nathan became extremely selfless, giving away his own happiness or needs to others to make them happy, since it made him feel happy to see them happy. 

“Don’t worry Marc, everything will shape out.” Marc gave him a glance, they were at a stop sign “How are you so sure?” he asked, having a pure expression of worry. Nathan gave a small, charming smile, giving another pat “I just do, when have I been wrong?” Marc’s expression changed to a somewhat joyful one, and he laughed “Well-” “That was rhetorical, just drive doofus.” Marc laughed again, continuing the drive once making sure no cars were around. The smile remained on Nathans face, now he had to do this, a realization of people being afraid like Marc was vivid, they needed an anchor, they needed security and to know this was going to stop. 

They needed to know that they would be safe, the promise that Ladybug and Chat made. 

Ladybug kept her promise. 

Where had Chat’s promise gone? 

And thinking of that just made him resent the superhero just a bit more than he did before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have concept art i had my sister make for Nathaniels outfit. Though, i dont think you can post photos with works here so ill link my twitter where made the post 
> 
> https://twitter.com/161Blue/status/1085399676474589187?s=09
> 
> Also, the power set is a bit different drom Mayura, but ill explain that later. And his name is in the photo which is Paon Artiste. Paon means peacock in French and Artiste means Artist. I felt like it worked well


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathaniel opens up about Marinettes rejection to him

Nathan was back home, Marc driving him safely there and heading home afterwards. Nathan went up the ladder like normal, sitting on the window and lifting it up, watching as it slowly went up and clicked into place. Once done, he slid into his room, closing the window and taking his jacket off. He stretched, hearing his back crack, his parents were probably already asleep, it was 11 already. He took the pillows out from under his blanket, changing into his pajamas, which consisted of some cozy pants and a loose t shirt. He yawned, taking a cup from his desk and leaving his room, walking out to the kitchen and filling up their kettle. He set it down on the stove, turning it on and waiting for it to boil. In the meantime, he scoured around the cupboards and fridge to find something to snack on. 

A lot of stuff they had was made to actually cook, and it was way too late to do that, so, he settled on a jar of pickles. He set it on the counter, getting a fork and then opening the jar and beginning to fish for it. 

“What are you doing up?” he heard, he looked up to see his dad, standing and having a smile. He gave a small smile back, his dad had already greyed, though, he still could envision the once blonde hair his dad had. His dads eyes were a calm blue, matching Nathans. He shrugged “Got up to eat and have tea.” he lied, he didn’t want to be lectured today, not after he had to do so much planning for his persona. 

His dad laughed “Oh? Should I ask the pillows what they were doing then?” Nathan groaned “You checked on me?” a nod came from him and he leaned on the counter “You can’t lie to me, Nathaniel. I was a rebel before you.” Nathan laughed “When was that? When you could still buy things for a nickel.” his dad followed in laughing “Nah, but good guess.” he said, sighing “Nathan, I’m so happy for you.” 

“Oh? Is it because your having a parental crisis of seeing your little boy no longer being afraid of everything and coming out of his shell and seeing into the man he’s become.” he watched his dad nod “Right on target. Though, I’m also really happy to see how you’ll evolve next. I mean, you can’t stay a rebel forever, soon you’ll finally be a balance of emo and shy kid, and then you’ll be even more happy.” Nathan rolled his eyes “I guess. Though, why aren’t you asleep?” his dad chuckled “I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to ask, have you found it?” 

Nathan sighed, looking down at the floor. His dad was talking about an art studio. Nathan would need one soon, to move all his art and stuff, to have a space for his creativity, but he still hasn’t found the perfect one. He wants one with a great view, that shows off all those Paris lights since he’s such a night owl and if him and Marc are going to continue there comics, then it would be nice for him too since that’s his favorite thing here. It also needs space, an open area where nothing feels too cluttered, where he can put everything he wants up and feel like he’s expressing himself. Along with price range, he also needs it to be able for him to have the creative liberty, so he can decorate the walls. He has a complete vision for how he wants it to look, and it needs to meet every little bit of it. 

“Nah, still looking.” he said, eating another pickle and letting the tangy taste dance around on his tongue as he chewed it down. His dad chuckled “It’ll come around, maybe after your orientation we can look around places near the campus.” he put a thumbs up, his dad was less uptight than his mom, he was the one who wanted Nathan to be more open, to be happy and encouraged every little bit of his art. His mother also was a heavy supporter, but she was the type to worry a lot of him getting hurt, and didn’t promote his rebellion. 

“Also, how are things with that girl?” he asked, Nathan blushing and groaning “Why do so many people want us together?” he said, rubbing his face as he laid his head on one of the cupboards. His dad hummed “Maybe it's because you’ve liked her since third grade? Might be related. Either way, what happened to that boy she liked?” Nathan shrugged “He started to date someone else a while back. She was heartbroken for a really long time, but I think she’s over it now? Not sure, I’d need to ask Alya.” he nodded “And the other one?” Nathan hummed “He turned out to become a bit gay for Marc.” 

A smirk curved his dads lips “So, your saying shes up for grabs?” Nathan’s eye twitched “Ohmygod- Dad stop. I’ll seriously slam my head into the cupboard like I did when I was six.” his dad laughed “You did do it every time you had a tantrum. But- still. You’ve became so confident Nath, why can’t you just try at romance? You do watch all those Romcoms.” 

It was true, Nathan was a hopeless romantic type. He loved the romance genre, and wanted to do all the cliches, but he was still hopeless. He was too nervous to actually flirt with anyone, and if he ever did, it was an accident and he normally wouldn’t even realize he was doing it. He moved his hand from his face, hearing the kettle letting out a soft screech, signalling the water was at a boil. He got down from the counter and took it off the heated stove, moving it to another, cool top with a mit to ensure it wouldn’t ruin anything. He turned off the stove and got his tea, which was chamomile, he sighed, pouring the water and putting the tea bag in “Just be glad I got this far.” he said, steeping it and holding the string to move it around “Can you get me the milk and sugar?” he asked, looking back at his dad. He nodded and went into the fridge, getting the milk and then going into the cupboard and getting sugar, setting it down beside Nathaniel's cup. 

Nathan hummed, pouring the milk in first and then sugar, still moving the packet around and waiting for it to let out all the flavor first. He felt his dad pat his back “I’m sure things will turn out for you, you did get this far.” Nathan nodded, sighing “Keep dreaming.” a small chuckle left the male as he took Nathans beanie off and ruffled his hair “Oh, I will.” he grinned before putting the hat back on and leaving back to bed. 

He rolled his eyes whilst watching his dad go, freedom from school was around the corner, he would be no one special during it, just a kid who got to graduate. Though, it would be nice, he already was accepted into an art school, found a little apartment away from his parents, as much as his mom wanted him to stay for his college years, he wanted to be out and about in the world. He needed a studio though, working on comics in his old high school obviously wouldn’t slip well, and being in a crowded apartment wouldn’t do for all the stuff he has for art, even some he hasn’t taken out of package for having no space for it in his room. 

Nathan sighed “When I find that studio, everything will be perfect, why do I need a girl? Or anyone for that matter.. It's not like I have interest in anyone else, and the girl I do like rejected me pretty hard..” he muttered to himself, getting a spoon from the drawer and putting it in his cup so he could stir it later. His kwamii soon came out “What happen with the girl you liked?” she asked, making Nathan flinch a little before sighing again “I’ll tell you in my room. Better than saying it here, I don’t even think my mom and dad know.” he took the mug, going back to his room. 

Once he was in, he closed the door behind him, going and sitting at his desk. He set the cup down and took his sketchbook out, going to a baren page, which was the last one in the book. he knew he would rip this one out once he finished the story, so going somewhere where it was insignificant was best. 

“Well, I was maybe fifteen? Around a few months after another one of my birthdays. I had overheard Alya freaking out to Nino that there ship was dead, and that Marinette had fallen out of feelings for Adrian. She said something about her realizing that Adrian was too good for her? I can’t exactly remember, it was when Marc and me were getting pretty close in our friendship though, and he told me I should maybe try asking Marinette to a coffee or something. With enough pier pressure. I gave it a shot.” 

 

Nathan was standing before Marinette, they were in the hallway after school, he was messing with his sleeves, at the time, still needing them cuffed to fit right. His hair was covering his eye, and no matter how many times he tried to fix it, it went back into place. His neck was burning with his face, and he was sweating quite a lot. Marinette was smiling at him, damn her for being so pretty. He enjoyed looking at her, it actually made this situation just a bit better to deal with. 

“Marinette.. I like you. I’m pretty sure you knew that a-after Evil.. H-Him.. But, I do really like you. Y-You’re so kind to e-everyone and you’ve always been.. So amazing and even w-with nervous stuff, your great at it..” Marinette kept her smile, but he could tell it changed, into something more of a sad expression.. She was sorry for him, wasn’t she? She held his shoulder, making him tense up into it “Nathan.. I’m sorry.. I don’t see you like that.” 

He felt almost like a javelin hitting his heart, he could see she was ready to continue, and she did despite him really wanting her not to “Its just, i’ve always seen you as a friend.” friendzoned “A-And I just got over Adrian, I don’t know if Im exactly old enough to date anyone.” bullshit, Alya already wrote in her blog that her and Chat Noir had a brief love fling for each other “Even then, I just.. I don’t feel the same, Nathan..” 

Why did she have to continue? Was it because she thought he needed reasons? Or was she so flabbergasted? He just let out a little, strained chuckle “I understand.. I h-hope you figure things out.. And keep being happy.” he said, moving back a bit before walking to the locker room. 

Once alone, his breath was quickening, and the hot tears he was holding back were spilling down his face. He quickly took his inhaler, using it and taking deep breaths with it. He had it since his therapist told him it would help when he got into panic attacks, since he could never seem to control his breathing. He laid his head in his knees, crying more but at the same time trying to stop himself.. He couldn’t turn into Evillustrator again when the girl that version of himself just loved her even more.. 

So, he was basically silencing all emotion, telling himself that now, he would numb up and that was best for both him and Marinette. 

 

Nathan finished each panel of the sketch, his hands were shaky, and he drew every little bit of it. He had tears falling down his face.. The memory always brought that hurt in his heart back, but this time, he didn’t have to worry about Hawkmoth, but he treated it like he was meant to. He ripped the page out, crippling it up and then tossing it in his trash bin. He took his inhaler out, still using it to this day, although he had confidence, he still needed it for the occasions of panic. 

Numb, numb, numb. 

He thought, and slowly his heart rehardened, the stone he kept around it reforming as he relaxed, putting it away and hearing sniffles. He turned to see Duusu crying “That's so sad!” she said going and cuddling into his chest. Nathan sighed, patting her “It's okay.. I'm over it.. She has a right to not have feelings for me.. And I have the undoubtable requirement of getting over her and it..”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien grows a pair when it comes to his dad, and is for once able to speak his mind

Adrian was getting ready for school, styling his hair, brushing his teeth, washing his face, just his normal routine before the day began. Plagg was beside him, eating his camembert as normal “I don’t get you, why are you still so sad about your dad? Isn’t he transferring to another compound all for you?” 

Adrian sighed softly, it was true, when Adrian would be graduating in two weeks, his father would be moving to another location so he could keep visiting him. Though, Adrian really didn’t like that thought, since his dad would be going to a prison with less discipline.. Though, he was told that his dad would be kept under high security, and that he wouldn’t be allowed outside like other inmates, he was still worried, what if they couldn’t contain him? His dad was a smart man, and what if he outsmarted them? 

He looked at the time, it was two hours before he would have to go to school. Adrian was going to go visit him before he left for classes, deciding it would be a bit nice. It would be nice to see him again despite how much it hurt his heart to see the man he once looked up to behind bars. Plus, he wanted to tell his dad what he did with the Peacock Miraculous. He wanted to see his dads face when he realized exactly who he opened to that picture. 

Gorilla was still here as his personal driver, since he was found to know nothing of the conspiracy like Natalie was. So, he was still able to take Adrian around. He got his school stuff ready, going to Gorilla who was already in the car and waiting for him. He set his stuff in the back and got in the front seat, plugging his seatbelt in “Lets go.” he nodded as he began to drive down the roads, taking a few turns. 

The drive normally took thirty minutes to get to the prison, so Adrian mostly decided to occupy time on his phone, taking some photos for his account followers. He tapped his foot on the floor of the car as he waited, it was always unnerving to go here, but he knew he would have to get use to it. They were checked in and Adrian was taking into the secluded room he was always in when he would visit. 

He sat down in his chair, staring at the metal, bolted down chair his father normally sat in. And soon, with it seemed a blink of the eye, he was there, sitting and having a guard chan his handcuffs to the also bolted in table. He winced a little, rubbing his own wrist just a bit, he couldn’t imagine the thought of being chained up like that.. 

He faced his father, the still, blue and dark gaze he remembered looking at him. Adrian tensed a little and said “Please leave, guards.” and this time, with no fight, they left. 

Kagami wasn’t here to come and hold him when he was done. He didn’t want her here for this, he wanted for once to face the demon that taunted his life for years. The person for so long that just used money as a form for love, that wanted to hurt innocents at any cost.. He needed to do this on his own, for all those who got hurt, for himself, for anyone who saw him being so upset. He needed this off his chest before he was at college and there would be an even deeper strain. 

“Hello, son.” he greeted, Adrian still gripping at his sleeve and remaining quiet, it felt so bitter, and even a greeting felt like venom. His father looked around “I must say, I’m surprised you're seeing me today, you normally come over every weekend.. What seems to be pawing your mind so much to see me much earlier?” Adrian sighed, he wanted to say it, but the words were basically strangling him, clogging his throat so much it could replicate a rope. 

He slowly looked back up at Gabriel, and he seemed calm, and yet so gleeful. He must know something, Adrian pondered to himself.. Does he expect Adrian to ask questions about the Peacock? Since, his dad was going to get more than just that. Adrian took in a deep breathe, letting the air seem to unclog the strain of vowels as he finally managed “I saw the peacock.. It is now repaired..” 

Gabriel looked a bit amused “Oh? Is that so? Do tell me how? Was it from the last master? I do recall you being able to enhance powers, but that book was written in a such a way I knew that only a master would understand.” Adrian’s gaze flickered, this still felt so wrong. This all felt so terrible, he was facing his father, but at the sametime, the enemy. He was facing the person he still wanted to hug, to have a relationship with, to be able to have those times of playing piano or watching a movie.. And this was the person who made him become Chat Noir, who gave him freedom but also misery, risking his life several times and others. All of this just made his gut twist up harshly, and he had to keep taking deep breaths not to stutter or choke. He moved his hand to his ring, playing with it like he did when he got nervous these days.. 

‘Adrian, you can’t hesitate. This is a battlefield, your form is sloppy, straighten out, attack, don’t be afraid.’ 

He can remember Kagami telling him when they did fencing practice, it was at the start of their relationship, and he was always so afraid to accidentally hurt her. He remembered her smile, what she would say to him right now if she was right beside him, and that was enough for him to keep calm, and continue on. 

“Yes, it was from the last master, a wise man who has helped me realize so much more.. He has been more in my life these past four years than you have ever in my entire life.” Gabriel scowled “So is that true?” he nodded “Yeah! And I also have a super awesome girlfriend! She’s amazing at fencing, and we met over it. She makes me so happy, everyday I see her she reminds me of how strong I am! And how far i’ve gotten without your help! I don’t need you to be happy! I don’t need you to feel normal! I don’t need a relationship!” the bastards smirk came as he asked in a sly way “Then why are you crying, son?” 

Venom. That’s what it was. It was the purest chemical that came from snakes that needed to embolize their victims. And it was exactly what Gabriel did to Adrian. The boy was crying without noticing it, and even with wanting to clean his tears, he didn’t and just stood up “I don’t need your relationship! I don’t need your care or love! But I want it! I wish you were my dad! I wish you were someone I didn’t need to face like this! I wish we could be happy..” Gabriel laughed “We could have been, Adrian. If you just weren’t so stubborn on protecting everyone and let me have the miraculous, I could’ve brought your mother back. We could’ve been happy and perfect again.” 

He whimpered, tensing up a bit “You wanted the powers for mom.. Father, you can’t do that! With every wish will come back a spiteful reaction! If you wished mom back, you could lose me in the process!” Gabriel chuckled “Well, we wouldn’t know till we have tried.” Adrian tensed further, how could his father be willing to make such a risk? To his own son. 

Though, he soon let out a soft, pitiful laugh “Don’t worry, I’m fixing everything. I’m tying every loose end there is left before I leave school and you transfer.. Your more of a nightmare father, you follow, linger in someones head and drive them insane!” Gabriel laughed, sounding a bit terrorizing as it almost echoed and rang in Adrians head “Thank you, good to know. Now, will I ever meet this girlfriend?” Adrian snarled “You think i’d ever do that to her?! I won’t let you get near her or touch her with a ten foot pole! She would kick your ass in seconds if she even saw you. She knows of the monster you are.” his father simply rolled his eyes, still grimacing, daggers, venom, poison, acid, all of those were hitting Adrians heart in a matter of milliseconds. He had to end this, tie the loose end. 

 

‘You got this Adrian, now attack!’ Kagami said, putting her helmet on and getting into a battle stance, but even with her face covered, he could know she was smirking. 

“And you know what, father?” he spat harshly, gripping at the edge of the table now, leaning forward “The peacock is happy again, with someone new. They aren’t your trophy anymore.” Gabriel tensed, looking horrified but at the sametime, enraged “You.. Gave it to someone?” he growled “Who!?” Gabriel yelled, struggling in his binds, but not being able to do much. 

Adrian smirked, finally for once feeling like he was above his father, that he wasn’t just a poor boy hiding all the time, hiding what he felt, being the perfect child. He walked over “Identities are made secret, father. Though, just watch the news, make an educated guess.” he walked to the door, this time when he held the metal handle he didn’t feel a dread, he felt ten times lighter, he felt happy despite the tears still falling “Farwell, Gabriel Agreste.” he said, before walking out and closing the door, leaving back to the car.


	10. Chapter 10

When Adrian went into school, he was asked a lot of questions. Some on his father, and others about why his eyes were red and puffy. He ignored them all, staying purely silent as he walked through the courtyard, looking for Kagami. He hadn’t texted her all day, and right now, he just needed to see her right now. 

After mindless walking around, he found her, she was talking to Max, holding a paper and pointing out things as he would answer back. He strode over, and she looked up at him “oh, hey Adri- What happen to your eyes?” she asked, quickly taking hold of his cheek and examining his face “Have you been crying?” she asked worriedly next, him taking hold of her hand. 

In a quick, unexpected motion, he kissed her, it being full of passion and a pure love. She yelped, blushing darkly and certainly being taken aback. Though, she did relax, humming and kissing back, holding him closer and leaning forward just a bit to help close the gap. 

After a bit, he slowly pulled away, she slowly opened her eyes, leaning a bit forward for a second to want the kiss to continue, though, he didn’t let it. He laid his head gently on her shoulder “Well, I saw my dad today.. And I finally told him how I felt.” Kagami smiled, hugging him tightly “I’m so proud of you..” he chuckled “Yeah, I figured.. But my heart hurts so much..” she hushed him “Calm down, Adrian. Its okay now, I bet it hurts, but, is it a nice hurt?” he gave a soft chuckle “I guess it is.. I feel weightless at the same time.” 

She nodded “Good.. But can we please go to a sink and wash your face? You kinda look like a pothead.” he laughed a bit, standing up straight and holding her hand “Sure.” she smiled up at him, waving bye to Max as they walked off to a sink to go and clean Adrian’s face and freshen him up. 

Marinette was sitting by Alya, they were already in class, mainly so they could hang out in piece. They were talking and giggling, having a good time for the most part, just sharing some passing gossip. 

“No? Seriously!?” Marinette gasped, staring at Alya who nodded “Yep, I was surprised too. I didn’t think that Chloe actually would be doing good at her school. Apparently, she came down here to grace us with her presence once more before we graduate.” she groaned, laying her head on her desk “Nooooo.” she whined, Alya patting her back comfortingly. 

More students began to walk in, and soon, the Queen Bee herself, graced everyone “Hello everyone! I know you all missed me so I came!” some people groaned, whilst others tried to just be a bit friendly to not get into conflict. Adrian soon was in the doorway, Kagami walking him to class as she kissed his cheek “I’ll see you at lunch..” she said, before walking off. Marinette sighed, she was happy Adrian was happy, but she still did feel the smallest bit of jealousy to see him with someone else, she was still getting over him, even with it being months since the two got together. 

“Adrikins!” Chloe chirped, going and hugging Adrian. He smiled a bit, hugging her back “Hey Chloe..” he didn’t look disgusted like normal, he looked content and happy. They pulled away, Chloe humming “Don’t worry, I won’t steal you away from your girlfriend, I actually I don’t need a man right now.” Adrian smiled “I’m happy for you. It's really nice to see you. Can we catch up later?” Chloe giggled “Of course.” he walked to his seat, settling down beside Nino and them beginning some nice banter. 

Chloe was sitting beside Ms. Bousties desk, being a guest so she was allowed to sit there. She was filing her nails, though, was interrupted to the sound of howling laughter, looking up to see Nathan, Juleka, Marc, and Rose walk in together. 

“Nathan, why did you say that?!” Juleka laughed, Rose giggling and covering her mouth whilst Marc was face palming. Nathan shrugged “I don’t know, my inner shipper has came out once more. Time to do the fanart.” Marc groaned “I’m going to choke you.” Nathan laughed “That’s going in the smut art of you and Luka, ya dingus.” 

Marc huffed, taking Nathans beanie off and giving him a noogie, making Nathan burst into laughter “Okay! I take it back!” he said, squirming and managing free as he took his beanie back and slid it back on, fixing his hair up a bit. Chloe blushed a bit, when did Nathan get hot? She use to bully this kid for Christ sake, and now he was looking really attractive. 

He was wearing a pair of black jeans, some flat sneakers that were a soft purple and his shirt being a dark blue with a photo of Bob Ross (Nathaniel's idol for Landscape work) on it. And of course, his before mentioned, beanie. He had put many different clips on it, so he also decidedly put his miraculous up there to blend it in and not be so suspicious. When Chloe looked at him, the first thing she noticed was that he was now quite tall, since she was too busy picking on him and didn’t notice. He was more broad, his shoulders widening and standing tall instead of at a slouch. He looked, actually confident and happy. 

The moment he saw her, is when his expression changed, he went from happy to dear in the headlights, the color draining from his face. He quickly adjusted his beanie, now slouched and retaining the form he use to when Chloe was around, a form of defense to not be noticed. Juleka, Rose and Marc caught on and also got quiet, simply walking to there seats and Marc heading out since he had a different class. 

Nathan took his stuff out, looking already unnerved and scared, which honestly dumbfound her. Was she really that bad to him? When Marinette noticed the strong change, she growled, whispering to Alya “This is such bullshit. Chloe is making poor Nathaniel scared again.” Alya tsked “Yeah, poor you for your eye candy going sour.” she replied, rolling her eyes. 

Marinette gasped “I don’t use him as eye candy!” she whisper yelled, glaring at her friend. Alya smirked “Oh, really?” she said, pulling out her phone and showing several times Marinette was staring at Nathan. Her face got painted in a bright pink “I just look at him because I can’t look at Adrian, is all.” she said awkwardly, Alya sighing “Okay, just don’t lead him on Mari, you already broke his heart once, leave the poor boy be.” 

Before she could respond to her wise friend, Ms. Boustie had walked in and class had began. 

 

The day continued forward, dryly. There was none of the soft banter normally other students could hear from the worry free group (Consisting of Rose, Jukela, Marc and Nate) Nathan had completely shut down to his old ways once sight of Chloe came in. He looked constantly scared at every turn, even with now being stronger and taller than her, he was meek to her mental abuse. Even with the reassurance of his friends, he wouldn’t snap out of it, remaining completely quiet and if he even tried to talk, it was like that pythons hands were around his neck, tightening to each breath he took and keeping him quiet to his pleas of help. 

Marinette was getting kinda pissed off, how could Chloe come back like this? Didn’t she know all the pain she had caused for everyone around her? Was she so set on caring for herself she just wanted to show off how far ahead she is? Couldn’t she see how much she was damaging Nathan by the second, draining whatever confidence or pride he had gained since she left, which was a crap load. As soon as she was gone, he seemed to glow each and everyday, and each and every second now, he was dimming. 

Adrian, Kagami, and Chloe were talking, sitting at there own table. Kagami didn’t mind Chloe being around her boyfriend, she seemed well behaved and kept her hands to herself. Though, any misstep and Kagami would probably bodyslam her, and luckily, that didn’t need to happen. Adrian was really happy to have his old friend around, finally, someone from his past that didn’t try to kill him.. Or was already dead themselves. 

“Dude what is up with you?” Marc asked, Nathan sitting and staring at his sketchbook, even afraid to open it and be openly mocked again. Rose was patting his back and Juleka said “C’mon Nate, tell us.” Nathan sighed, opening the book midway and taking a pencil out. Marc groaned “He’s back at the sharades!” for a good period of time when Chloe was teasing his voice, Nathan refused to talk and would use pictures to show how he felt instead of saying it. 

First, he drew Chloe, using small, chibi like sketches so then he could get through them faster “Yeah, Chloe is in the school. And?” he then drew himself, shoulders back and broad, looking really strong and confident “And your strong and confident.” Rose added, watching as Nathan then drew another picture of himself, meek and afraid, no longer looking strong, with some insults she used swirling around him. 

“Nath.. Are you scared she’s going to bully you again?” he nodded, doing a little thumbs up sketch and then looking up at Juleka “This is such horse crap, no one other than Adrian even wants her here, why couldn’t she just relax at his place or wait to show up after school? Nathan shrugged, sighing a bit. 

“What can we do to help?” Marc asked, and Nathan went to a small corner of the paper, drawing in easels, colored pencils, and a paintbrush “The art room!” Rose chirped, and Marc was already helping Nathan up, dragging him to the room, Juleka following after gathering his sketchbook and pencil. 

Marinette watched the group go, sighing softly “I still feel really sorry for him.. Do you think Chloe can ever be nice to him?” Alya smirked “Only one way to find out, watching. A good reporter always waits for there scoop.” she nodded, sighing and eating another macaroon she was packed in her lunch bag. 

“Chloe, can you apologize to Nathan?” Chloe gasped “Adrian! How could you ask me such a thing? He’s such a scaredy cat still.” Kagami cleared her throat “That’s an excellent idea, Adrian. But I think Chloe is too chicken to step into the art room, or admit she was wrong.” Chloe growled “Oh you little-” “Little? I’m taller than you, Chloe. Plus, how long were you Nathans tormenter?” Chloe was about to retort but paused.. She thought over Kagami’s question, when did she start bullying him? She always remembered him being in school with her, but she couldn’t remember a time existing that she didn’t bully him, even in Kindergarten. Of course, it wasn’t as bad then really, but he was much more sensitive and cried even at just looking at her like she was Medusa. 

She growled “This is ridiculous! Why should I apologize when I meant what I said!?” Adrian sighed “Nevermind Chloe..” he frowned, going quiet and Kagami holding his hand, glaring over at Chloe with an expression that read clearly that she was going to do it or she would basically be cutting ties with Agreste. 

Once they were in the room, the teacher had no problem welcoming them inside, letting them spend the time to draw, and talk. Nathan seemed to have calmed, returning to being himself and the jokes continuing like earlier. They were honestly relieved to see him back to normal now he was away from her, and they intended to have it stay like that. 

Though, it wouldn’t seem too last as the snarky, nightmare voice broke the banter “Nathaniel Kurtzberg.” he paled again, not her here. This was his safe place at school, the little sanctuary where he was away from her. She was breaching his territory, his battlefield. And when you go in another persons territory, you normally get an attack back. 

She walked through the door and immediately Juleka stood up “Leave him alone Bourgeois.” Chloe growled “I’m trying to apologize to him! Do you mind?” Nathan tensed up, his finger twitching a bit, Chloe, the person who made life hell since Kindergarten, apologizing? She had to be set up for this. 

He stood up, patting Juleka’s shoulder “Its okay..” he mumbled, giving her a soft smile as she sat back down, but Juleka still glared daggers at the intruder. Nathan looked over at her, already feeling afraid but trying to hear what she had to say. Chloe straightened “Well, I wanted to say sorry, for making fun of you for all of those years..” Nathan sighed “What was your main insult?” 

She gulped “Huh?” he gripped his pencil “Your main insult, the thing you said that has been eating you up the most to have the nerve to come in here. What you think for years makes looking at you sickening or plain painful.” she thought over a moment “Well..” he sighed “You don’t mean it. Its obvious Chloe, Adrian or Kagami put you up to this. Don’t strain yourself. Just get one thing clear.” he walked over to her, this room was his safe place, not hers. 

When he was standing in front of her, he then said “I won’t be able to forgive you, and if I do then i’ll never forget the hell you made my life. For the rest of your visit, don’t talk to me or my friends, they don’t need your toxicity. You can talk to me, when you have your main insult and have the balls to mean it.” Marc smiled, glad to see his friend finally stick up for himself. Nathan then walked back to the group, Rose hugging him and Juleka pointing to the door. Chloe growled once more, leaving the place “This is ridiculous!” 

Alya and Marinette were hiding around the corner “Woah..” Alya muttered “That was so cool!” she giggled, shaking Marinette “I didn’t know Nathan could actually stick up to her!” Marinette was shocked herself, she never knew Nathan to be the type to get so angry, he normally was really passive. Though, she figured a burning hatred was enough for any fear to really go. 

After a few more minutes of the two talking, Alya planning the school blog post, she heard the bell ring, the group walking out. When he looked over at Marinette and Alya, he gave them a small smile, feeling better himself to finally have enough willpower to tell Chloe how he felt for once.


End file.
